For Parents of LGBTQ kids- Being the grown up after the “coming out”.

So your child came out to you? (A declared member of the Lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, queer and intersex (LGBTQI+) community)

Do not say –

It’s “just a phase.”

Treat it as seriously as if they have made their final career choice. Much much more. Because this isn’t a choice. It has taken them a long path to accept it, understand it, dissolve the guilt and hate and bring it to you. Embrace them and their evolving sense of self. Say it loudly and be with them. If not you, then who?

Let’s look for a doctor to “cure” you.

It’s not a disease. There is no cure. It is not something that needs to be fixed. Please don’t shame your child for something that they are. There is nothing more they need than your acceptance. Isn’t that their right, being accepted for who they are in their home?

It’s all because of…

Don’t blame. Do not speak ridiculously. You are the parent here, remember. Don’t blame their tomboy looks, their overly sensitive behavior, liking arts, not playing football, hanging out with emotional women, their loud brash behavior because of which they may be undesirable to the opposite sex and hence are choosing to rebel, or worse, trying to punish you!
Assure them its fine (even if you have to figure it out), celebrate your child and listen.

Do

  • Read and learn.
  • Keep an open mind. Give your honest opinions. Say you don’t know,you don’t understand, if you need to – but listen with full support.
  • Use the pronouns they ask you to. Change the name if they ask you to.
  • Stand up for them.

Remember, it is your family. Happy and healthy children are all we want. Love is all we can give. Love is love after all. It’s that simple.

You can read more about National coming out day here

You can read a fabulous story by Janani balaji here

#nationalcomingoutday

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